This just in!

In another totally incompetent effort to clarify exactly what level of semantic conflict we are at with terrorist, Festus states "We're at war with an enemy that attacked us on September the 11th, 2001," Got that? "War" is now back in, "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism." is out. What a relief.

We still breathlessly await clarification on where the terrorists responsible for 9/11 were the day we invaded Iraq. . .