Thursday, March 30, 2006

Involuntary guest blog

AKA theft, I guess. Here's a brilliant riff from AMUG's venerable RAG, our resident Hunter Thompson Chair Emeritus

It seems that Royce got his iPod stolen from his unlocked truck in his driveway. Speculation ensues.

Royce Brown writes:
No a Republican would have got a copy of the car title then hired a democrat to steal the car.

Then RAG replies:
Wrong, a republican would have spent $20,000 in shareholder funds from his corporation to hire a lobbyist who would have hired an Israeli arms dealer whom he once met at the American Enterprise Institute to mention to Dick Cheney that there was a wide-open opportunity to shore up the base by committing a crime in Kennesaw, Land of Guns. Dick called Scooter who called Mr. X who quoted him a price of $10,000. The deal went down and Jose Manuel Rodriguez (whose father did not kill Kennedy, btw) was given $400 and some false papers to make the hit. In the meantime, your next-door neighbor's company, ChristMunitions, got a contract from the DoD to study the feasibility of time travel for $428,000 along with a backdated contract to hire NotCheneyOffshoreCo to do the development work for $408,000. Then your buddy put in a travel voucher for $20000 to cover his two week trip to inspect the work that NotCheneyOffshoreCo was doing in Tahiti.

So the moving score was:
Royce: -$400.00 for super duper ipod
Abramoff and arms dealer: $20,000
Mr. X: $10,000
Jose: $400 plus $100 that he got for ipod on ebay
ChristMunitions- $428,000
NotCheneyOffshoreCo: $408,000
Royce's Neighbor: $20,000
The rest of us including Royce: Cornholed again


Praise Bob!